


withered like grass

by vellaword



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Drabble, F/M, Ficlet, Forbidden Love, Miscarriage, Missing Scene, Pregnancy Scares, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020, just pure uncut angst, no happy ending sorry, not an actual miscarriage just a trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26862277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vellaword/pseuds/vellaword
Summary: Nick finds June in the garden after she hides her pregnancy complications from everyone.(a small missing scene from the end of 2x05 for whumptober)
Relationships: Nick Blaine/June Osborne | Offred
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	withered like grass

Nick knew something was wrong. He chalked it up to frayed nerves. June’s depression. How generally fucked up his life was right now. He couldn't quite put his finger on one reason why he had that sick feeling of dread throughout the evening. At least not until he heard a pained whimper from the garden, like a dying animal— except it wasn't. Then he wished he had been paying closer attention to his gut all along.

June was curled up on the ground, pregnant and pale among the dead leaves. Shock set in. The first thing Nick noticed was that she didn't belong out here in the rain, she belonged upstairs in her warm bed. The second thing he noticed was the alarming amount of dirt covering her legs.

No, not dirt.  _ Blood. _

Time seemed to slow down as Nick fell to his knees in the mud and gathered June’s limp form into his arms. She was too cold, but she was still breathing. He brushed a hand over her wet thighs and his palm was smeared with crimson.

_ So much blood. _

He didn’t think. He screamed for help.

The kitchen door flew open and hurried footsteps approached. Nick was grateful to see Rita’s face peering over the rose bushes, her bonnet soaked by rain. When she realized what she was seeing, she covered a startled gasp with her hands.

“She needs an ambulance,” Nick called out over the sound of pounding rain, his voice breaking.

“I’ll wake the Commander.” Rita turned on her heel and ran inside, fetching help as quickly as she could.

Nick looked down at June in his arms. Her wet hair was plastered to her face, and he brushed it aside with trembling fingers. Her frailty was startling— the pallor of her skin, bluish lips, the dullness in her eyes. It was all wrong. Panic gripped him like a vice. She had already lost too much blood, and the light inside her was fading to nothing. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this. 

Nick desperately gathered June closer to his chest and touched his forehead to hers, trying to find her. “June.” Trying to bring her back. “June, _please_.” His tears mingled with the rain as they fell on her cheeks. If she died tonight, Nick knew he wouldn’t be able to go on without her. She was all he had.

For a few seconds, June’s eyes focused on Nick long enough to show a flicker of familiarity. She breathed out his name and her fingers weakly gripped his coat. He thought she was coming back, but then she closed her eyes and slipped away again. “Hey,” he croaked, giving her a gentle shake, “Don’t— don’t do this. Stay awake, June.”

She heard him. Her eyelids fluttered, and her mouth opened wordlessly, but she saw Nick. She held onto that.

“Stay with me. We need you,“ he touched a lingering kiss to her temple, eyes squeezing shut. "I need you."

The sound of a siren approached. The medics were fast. Nick struggled to his feet on wobbly legs as the ambulance pulled into the driveway, flashing lights filling the rainy darkness. A frightful Rita came back to help, but Nick shook his head at her. With effort, he hoisted June’s limp body into his arms, and carried her out of the garden himself. Cradling her protectively against his chest, he stepped down the slick stairs and driveway, determined to bring her to help.

And to be with her as long as he could.

The stretcher was unfolded and Nick laid June down on it as gently as possible, letting the medics secure her as he cupped her face and tried to keep her awake for just a little longer. She looked up at him through bleary, unfocused eyes. He couldn't comfort her with words, it was too risky, so Nick took her hand and gave it a squeeze. He held it until the very last second as she was loaded into the ambulance, propriety be damned.

When the medics shut the doors and left without so much as a glance at Nick, leaving him alone in the dark driveway, only then did the adrenaline give way to the unspeakable pain of reality. He couldn’t even follow them. All he could do was wait, and hope. For June. For their unborn child.

Gripping the railing of the stairs for support, Nick sat heavily on the bottom step, crying under the cover of the rain. He buried his head in his hands and for the first time in years, he prayed to God for a miracle.


End file.
